i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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