Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
