You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
