Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
