chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
