More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
