I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I checked into jail on foursquare
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize