woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
