My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
