Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
