She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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