i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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