I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize