PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
