Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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