So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
