four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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