You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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