You can't motorboat a personality
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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