Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
