I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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