So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
