you told grandpa to call you daddy
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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