I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
