best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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