Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
well you can't waste a boner
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Be still, my beating vagina.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
