i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
as a side note pls kill me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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