I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
