Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
