I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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