i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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