I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I think people are normalizing furries
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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