I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
