I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Can't talk, ducks in the car
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
