Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
