well you can't waste a boner
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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