That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize