I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
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