we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
