Dual....:-)
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
