glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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