but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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