He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
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