i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We need to rekindle our bromance
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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