this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
