Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
