I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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