talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
