So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
