I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
