I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
