I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
