a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just want nice things and good sex
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
