It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
