Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
