He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
