somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
