She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
