if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize