I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
