I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize