Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
